True love story

My personal story…

This day I have to say the truth. These days, I have found that honesty seems to be an uncommon trait among people. I have had cause to ask myself why it has been so. In the process of trying to answer this question, another one popped up in my mind- “Ifeanyi do you say the truth, you yourself?”
That was totally embarrassing; knowing fully well that I'm trying to demand something from others that I don't even give.
My friends, Dennis and Emmanuel usually say, “Behind every truth said, their is a motive”.
When some of us dare to say the truth, we do it because we are sacred our lies will catch up with us. But let’s get into the business of the story: FINALLY I HAVE FOUND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!

It's always difficult to ascertain these days if someone really loves you, because of the level of dishonesty around us. I’m a young guy who has searched for love through different phases of life - from primary school to graduation from the University. To tell you the truth it hasn't been easy. Can you relate to that moment when your friend tells you that their boyfriend or girlfriend is so loving and caring and ask the million dollar question- “When will I have a girl or guy that will do the same for me?” Believe me I experienced this more times than I can remember.
I have actually wooed a lot of girls - petty and not so pretty-  all in the quest for real love (as if I’m Richard Quest - a CNN reporter popularly known with CNN money).
I have also tried using money to lure girls into loving me but in the end they love my money rather than the person that gives the money. That can be frustrating! I have had cause to attend lots of seminars on love and relationships all in the name of getting better and finding true love. But my problem only got worse. I come from a Christian home and I have strong religious discipline. In all my relationships with girls, I maintained the policy of abstinence even when I had reason to spend the night with them in the same room. I thought I was being responsible but most of the girls kept telling me I’m not man enough and suspecting that I’m gay.
I tried to implement what I was taught from the relationship seminars - sex doesn't create a strong relationships. However, most of my friends and some people I know that have sex with their partners seem to have stronger relationships than I ever did.

I have always asked myself questions; does it mean that all the teaching in relationships seminar is working for others and yet not working for me? But conventionally because I’m a Christian I will always echo in my heart “GOD FORBID…”
So the thought of this misery led me to emotional depression, though you will not know by just looking at me because everybody knows me to be a happy guy, but right inside of me I was unhappy and unfulfilled. So in the quest to free myself from the bondage of emotional imbalance, I delved into the world of Telemundo, it's a popular channel, 118 on dstv. I call it a fantasy world. Wow! the actors and actresses in Telemundo makes love simple. I tried acting what I saw in that movie in real life, but that was most confusing and frustrating! The more I watched Telemundo the more frustrated I became.
It looked as if I was going in circles and in chains, so I decided to explore the last option which is faking my character, pretending to have it altogether, but the truth was I didn't.
Though some few times it looked as if it was working but when people came close to me they would find out that it was  a fake. The dangers of faking things is that if you fake for too long, you lose the taste of being original. I almost got there but thank God I didn't. You can fake that you're rich, you can fake that you're anything, but you can't fake love, why? I don't know.
One faithful Saturday, at about 4:31am in the morning my phone rang
It was my friend, I have known him for  a long time now, so he told me that he had been thinking of getting serious with his girlfriend and he wanted to propose to her that day. He asked for my opinion and I responded immediately like I was supposed to-  “it's cool, it's wonderful! there comes a time in our lives when we have to do so,  and so on…”
When I ended the call I asked myself in my mind, “what is wrong with me, why is my own different? can't I have a girl I am serious with? Can't I have a real love?” And this still small voice whispered to me in my heart deep down saying “You have found a real love just that you have not realised it.” And I responded “How? who is my real love?” And it responded in a low tone  “JESUS is your real love.” He said he is the only one that loves you in your mess. Even when people are fake, He is real, when you are wrong and dirty he is ever present, He loves me no matter what I think or feel and he doesn't require anything from me.
I was still laying in my bed and the small still voice started telling me,  “until you open your heart to be loved by the Father you can't experience this love.”
I responded to the voice, “do you know my secret life?” Because intimacy demands transparency. I continued - “that I have emotional imbalance and some hidden dirty character I don't want people to see”. The voice replied I know all that and it doesn't matter. For the first time in my life, I heard someone tell me they love me even in my fake life and in my mistakes. My heart was at peace at that moment and I responded, Thank you for loving me!” He responded, “You are HIGHLY LOVED, DEEPLY BLESSED AND GREATLY FAVORED…”
Friends, finally I have found real love; somebody who loves me in my weakness and fault. That was more than I expected and I am bold to tell you today that I am no more searching for real love, I have found one in the beautiful person of JESUS.

Aniweta Ifeanyi @newcreationcity2017